Grandma: Ooohh, my back aches. Today I cleaned the house, watered the plants, cooked for you all... (Proceeds to rattle off inventory of domestic work done in the day). And I didn't even get to lie down!
Grandpa (flaring up): Why do you even bother? Why have we hired a maid? To clean the house. You keep going on about how you have to work... (proceeds in an alarming manner, turning red and banging his fist on the table)
Grandmother: See, these are the kind of comments I receive after a long day working. Why I even got married to him I don't know...
(Grandmother and Grandfather argue furiously. Aboli and Dad exchange smirks. Mom looks tired and worried. Omkar, of course, proceeds to laugh his head off.)
Dad: OK, stop it you guys. All you do is argue.
Grandma and Grandpa (in unison): We are NOT arguing! This is our way of talking to each other!
Dad: Yeah right. (smirks again)
Aboli: Dad, I didn't get this Math problem, tell me later.
Grandpa: Yeah yeah, you know what, Ankush, this girl doesn't study at all when you're at office and when you come home she makes a big show of asking you problems... (again gets worked up and yells)
Omkar (suddenly): Ajoba, Tarak Mehta!
Grandpa: Oh! (gets up and all but runs to his room)
Omkar: Aai, I'm done. (gets up to wash his hands)
Mom: No way young man, you are finishing your dinner and then, I will think about letting you watch TV.
Omkar: Aai pleeaassee!!!! I'm full!
Mom: Nope.
Grandma: Aboli get me the milk.
Dad: Aboli, and bring that chutney from the fridge.
Mom: Oh God, I almost forgot! There's yesterday's _______ in the fridge (fill in the blank), heat it up and bring it.
Omkar: Aaji, toooop!
Grandma: Aboli, bring me the ghee.
Dad: Aboli!
Mom: Aboli!
Grandma: Aboli!
Omkar: DIDI!!!!
(Aboli proceeds to throw a spectacular fit replete with stamping of feet and screaming)
I will NOT do four things at once! Can't you tell me a single thing at a time? I can not DO all of this at once....................
Dad: ABOLI!!! Shut up and bring the chutney or I'll wake you up tomorrow by singing in your ear!
(Aboli promptly shuts up and gets the stuff)
Grandma: So, Aboli, how many marks did you get in Maths in the Unit Test?
Aboli: Umm, well, umm, it's like, I did better than last time.....
Dad: How much???
Aboli: 35
Dad: Out of?
(Atmosphere is deadly quiet. Even Omkar does not dare to make a sound)
Aboli: 60
(Grandma explodes)
What?
Aboli (sulkily): It's better than last time!
Grandma: Better than last time? What an insult! (to dad) Look at the way she backtalks! No respect at all! I did a better job raising my children! Whenever they didn't study, I'd spank them hard enough to make them cry. Then they'd listen...
Dad (impatiently): Yes, I know! (to Aboli) So, what are we going to do? (glares at her for a few minutes) Huh? (glares again. Aboli starts crying.) Do you want me to send you to boarding school? I've seen your papers, and it's clear that all your problems lie in arithmetic. Now, I've told you a million times that the only way to achieve good marks is through practice...
(Starts giving the long-winded lecture that unfortunately covers all topics of conflict in our house. Aboli gets bored. Doorbell rings)
Mom (jumping up): That must be the dhobi.
Aboli (eagerly): I'll see!
Dad: No. You sit here and listen. (To mom) You go see...
(She leaves. Grandma starts cleaning up. Dad is still boring Aboli.)
Dad: Now I want you to go inside and start practising your Maths portion. Go!
Dad: Now I want you to go inside and start practising your Maths portion. Go!
Aboli: Ummm... Dad?
Dad: Yes?
Aboli: Umm, see, I...
Dad (giving a suspicious look): What?
Aboli: Umm, I forgot to tell you my class test marks...
Dad (glaring): And they are?
Aboli: Umm...
Dad: Spit it out!
Aboli: 23.
(Deadly silence)
Dad (quietly): Out of?
Aboli: 40
(Silence is deafening. Aboli starts edging towards room)
Grandma (suddenly): WHAT???
CURTAIN
7 comments:
Ha ha ha!
Good one Aboli! :)
Goodone. Show this to Aajoba and Aaji. Wear a helmet & body armor before you do that though :-)
-Abhay
Good One~
So what are you going to do to get your grades back where they should be :-)
BTW I do not sing songs to wake you up, I sing, because I can LOL
oh god...was that ur dad LOL-ing?
sigh...dads.
but aboli? that was written spectacularly. i could totally imagine it in my head. i mean, it was brilliance.
i've lived through one of these. You wouldn't be surprised if someone whipped out a bazooka and shot everyone dead.
Btw, i loved the post aboli, especially the idea of writing it as a play-ish type thing. Write more please!
Excellent and unbelievable.
I wonder you are really 14-15 years.
Sure you have watched 3-idiots. Carry on your own way. Grades, marks... are stupid things. Formal education do require. Even some degree also needed. But all these stuff do not make the LIFE.
Nice writing for 14yr GENIOUS !!!
OH...
I just forget to mention that I like your name.. Aboli.
By the way what does it mean?
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